Story of a Blurred Romantic Loving a Princess Hottie

Reasons I Shall Not be Smoking

2009-09-07T02:42:00.002+08:00

even uncle sam is urging me to stop. i should and i am.

after this post onwards, i am not gonna take up any cigarettes anymore...

1. it cost me money where i can use it up for something more productive.
2. its disappointing and hurting my parents and my loved ones.
3. its not good for health.
4. there is no benefits from smoking.
5. if my baby has quit smoking, so can i.
6. since i started smoking, i have done nothing good, just bad.
7. its a stupid decision, like my dad said, only stupid people smokes.
8. there is so much more in life.
9. it tastes like shit(not that i have tasted shit before).
10. if i cant take care of myself, no one can.
11. whats the point of taking supplements and then killing it by smoking? wasting money
12. smoke relief is only temporary.
13. if im going to kill myself slowly, might as well just shoot myself in the head.
14. everyone wants to quit, so im taking up the initiative to do so.
15. i dont want a smoking future.

seriously, smoking has effected me too much in life, and not in a good way. always brought me trouble, lowers down my productivity and basically never brought anything good to me.

so, from today onwards, Monday, September 7 2009, 2:52am, i shall not pickup smoking nor shall i be influenced by anyone to smoke anymore. shame on me for smoking... this is a promise to myself, and anyone who is reading this, please quit, and list down what has smoking done for you before...

waiting...

2009-09-06T01:00:00.002+08:00

i feel like crying... i really do... i have been waiting a whole day for her... for her responses, her replies...

T_T

i was at my friend's place today, wanting help to compose a song for her birthday... i didnt want her to know, its a surprise... so i sms-ed to tel her that i am studying and i wont want to be bothered...well... im never good at lying and keeping surprises... she called an hour later, i ran to the toilet and hid... told her im in the toilet, and i need to finish of another chapter and then call her back...

but then after a while... she called me back, and she caught me that i wasnt at home, and that i was lying to her...

i couldnt help it... i really wanted it to be her B'day song... its so hard to compose and write, she smsed me that she wanted to break up with me cause she couldnt trust me...

i went home and saw that my status on Facebook is no longer in a relationship with her.... it really hurts me then... it really did... but i kept it in... told her that i was composing and writing a song for her... she still doesnt believe i think... called her multiple times today but to no avail... smsed her but no replies... i saw her online, i msg-ed her but she doesnt asnwer me... i really cant hold it in right now..im writing this as tears are rolling down my cheeks as i feel ignored, lost and i dont know what to do...

how bad is it that a person feels that he/she is ignored just because he/she wanted to do something for his/her loved one? where is the fairness in that? i waited the whole day... and i have no outlet... i cant think straight, kept me from thinking too much... but now i finally cracked...

kepedihan hatiku...

Deciding for a Change

2009-08-21T19:12:00.002+08:00

im going to change myself, to reach for my dreams. am gonna change myself so my baby does not need to worry about me... i feel the winds of change blowing my way... it is now the right time and right place.

im not going to be as forgetful as i was before... i will take action into mind, words into consideration... no longer will i live my life like i was before...

my current thinking brought me where i am now, i am not happy with where i am... i want something better, something more... i need a change...

A Man With A Dream Will Not Be Denied...

Hanson
A Change in My Life

Standing cold and scared on top of blue hill,
There came one moment, when I lost my will.
I prayed for mercy, please lord take me away.
Oh give me sunshine where I only see grey.
My past had a hold on me, it can't be denied,
And the changes don't come easily.

chorus
I've been lonely, I've been cheated,
I've been misunderstood
I've been washed up, I've been put down,
And told I'm no good
But with you I belong,
Cause you help me be strong,
There's a change in my life,
Since you came along.

Now I don't mind working so hard every day.
And I don't pay no mind to what people say.
'Cause after all the pain I've been through
Lord knows I'd give up everything
Just to love only you
All my life I'd held my head bent in shame,
But now I've found you, and with you
I'll remain, Lord knows.

Repeat chorus

A man gets crazy when his life is all wrong,
And a heart gets weary when it doesn't belong.
When the road gets rocky Lord
You've got to keep on.
Let the new light come shining on through.

Repeat chorus

Forgetful

2009-08-13T00:34:00.004+08:00

why am i so forgetful? why cant i remember somethings when i try so hard to remember them... this is what brought me into trouble with my baby today. i sometimes forget where her classes are and it hurts her... i understand that, because it shows as if i dont care. i do care about her, i dont want to make her sad. but i make her sad time and time again, while i thought that i am doing something that is making her happy, making her proud, something else pops up and i make her sad. i dont want that to happen. i really dont.

everytime she is sad, it makes me feel useless as a boyfriend not doing what im supposed to do, which is to make her happy. as of right now, i am aiming for her birthday, every single cent and penny saved will prioritized for my baby's birthday, i am even doing her handmade gift right now... and below, i will vow to do these and to keep my forgetfulness away, even that there is still a chance, i want to minimize it.

1. jot down every single thing of my baby's lifestyle.
2. constantly update the booklet and constantly looktrough it so i do not forget.

this will try to reduce the chance of me dissapointing my baby. i love her too much to hurt her anymore...

p.s: smack me if i do forget. i love you stephanie

The Best Thing That Happened to me

2009-08-11T00:48:00.004+08:00

There has never been any greater girl that has come into my life... you are everything that means special to me..

why do i say that? because you are the anchor of my heart... you keep me down when things are afloat but you keep me up when i am sad. you are all i have ever hoped for, and there is no one like you. i really want you to know that i love you more than anyone else in this world...

Hennessy Artistry in QE3 in Penang, yes, she did down the bottle lulz...

sometimes to get to your heart is difficult, but i always tell myself that i wont give up on you, because you mean that much to me. i have never felt this way to anyone before, and this the truth, i pray everynight for you to be safe from all worries and sorrows.

despite we came from different backgrounds, different point of views, but there is so much we could do together, and i believe our love transcends boundaries.

this is how good she looked in dresses, she blows my mind every-time.

i believe that there is a reason that we were brought together, and it is no accident, as i write this i am thinking of all the memories that we have had together and all the memories that we are going to have in the future.. thats what i see...

shaking her bootay during HA in KL... all i could do was sit aside and admire her..

nothing will keep me from doing what i want to do for you, there is just so much in this relationship that i have longed for and i know for a fact that if this is taken away from me, i will not be able to find it again. you are in a way, so many things i have wanted...

look at her skin... no blemishes, makes me feel like touching her cheeks..

i can never get bored of just gazing at you, admiring what i have infront of my eyes, i will never get tired of holding your hands, to feel what i know is real, and i can never saw sweet things to you, because thats how sweet you mean to me and you know that you deserve it. everytime you ask me "you not bored 1 meh always hug hug kiss kiss", i always wanted to say, "no" cuz how could i get bored of you? i could never get bored of you... even when you are not around i basically think of you..

she can camwhore all she wants because i get more pictures of her to look at, she always looks nice... :)

every single thing you do for me i do cherish it for it means so much to me. i never thought i would ever find someone that i could love as much as you, because i know that you are lovable.

see see, she making my face blush (actually its d alcohol) but she does make me blush, and she has the power to make me blush whenever she wants...

sometimes i feel silly making some small mistakes, and you dont like making mistakes... my head is a bit thick and you might say sometimes a bit airheaded(Himbo???) but i always knock some sense into myself and before i met you, i would just do something without thinking it through so much...

awwww..... So cute... (melted)

i believe that every single moment spent with you is a god gifted moment, everytime i would not want you to part from me is not because i just dont want you to go home and rest, its just that i want to spend a bit more time with you, even just doing nothing but spending time with you is already "something" to me..

Yo te amor... por siempre estaras en mi corazon...

as i am typing this out i just cant stop looking at the pictures on the picture frames you filled up for me, its so nice that it looks like small windows of moments that we had... and when i spin it slowly, it makes me wonder if there was any magic spell that binded us together...

hug me... not the baaaggg.... meee meee....

i pamper you so much not because i have to, its because i want to, because i know you deserve it and so much more. if i were able to give you more, i would... without thinking twice i would give you so much that you would want me to stop... ^^

look like bubblegum hor hor hor...

as time goes by i know that one day that i will be able to achieve my goal of giving everything to you... and you are the only person that i want to give to.

just like a seniorita asking for a dance... just have to love her...

i want you to know one thing, i want to go through everything with you, be it sadness... or happiness or bliss, EVERYTHING... because you mean a lot to me...

...:::~~~///I Love You Stephanie\\\~~~:::...

heres a song dedicated to my love...

The Calling : Stigmatized
If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you

Chorus:
Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized

I can feel the blood rushing though my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray

Chorus

We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized

We'll live our lives, We'll take the punches everyday
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way

I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I Believe in you, and I don't really give a damn
stigmatized
We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides

We're gonna live our lives
Gotta live our lives
We're gonna live our lives
We're gonna live our lives, Gonna live our lives, Stigmatized

IM STILL ALIVE!!

2009-07-22T20:49:00.002+08:00

wow... its been ages since i last blogged... daaaammmmnnnn~~

but anyways, im still alive and kicking, still in love with the same girl, if not, even more in love with the same girl(u know who im talking about) and am now living like a student but also working some side business, some events outside...

i never had anything much to blog about, everytime i wanted to blog about something, i reach home, sit on the pc, and totally forget what i want to type out, and im sure a lot of other writers or bloggers outside face the same problem too... my blog isnt too photographic cuz i dont have a camera, but still... hmmm... what did i want to write again?

how are me and steph? great of course, but also experiencing some rocky roads, but i still love her...(damn scary, like talking to my self "hey, how r you? im fine thanks, how bout you? fine too...") we have passed 6months together and looking forward to more no matter what.

anyways, i hope everyone is doing fine, make love not war...

and i hope this line helps you..

"A PERSON CAN MAKE EXCUSES OR MAKE RESULTS, CANT MAKE BOTH..WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT TO MAKE"

quoted from someone obviously.. but really strong impact... take care ^^

Redefining Love

2009-06-28T12:40:00.003+08:00

its going to be 6 months now for me and my baby, and there is no one else i love more in this world... i am willing to sacrifice so much and give her so much more, because i know that she deserves it. i have never doubted anything from her before, loving her more and more each passing day. what is love when you dont love her flaws too? nobody is perfect, and i accept it.

sometimes we do have our ups and downs, i have my immaturities and she has her flaws too... but i love her for who she is and im not gonna do anything to change the fact that i love her like crazy. i cant do anything but to pamper her and show her how much i love her. and at the same time she does the same to.

there are no perfect relationships out there, but there are only great ones, and im having one. yes, there are things that we need to cope with, things that we are angered by, and things that we do not agree with, but putting all those aside, there is just so much space for improvement and affection in our relationship. each passing day, our relationship grows and grows, as we stumble, fall and pick ourselves up and dust off the dirt, we hold hands and walk together again. walking towards a wonderful future together. i may be a dreamer, but i only like thinking positive. well, opposites attract, thats why we are together. i really love her alot. there are just so many things i want to do for her, love her more and more, give her things that she could only dream of having and just so much more...

without her, i would only be floating in thin air as she is the anchor that pulls me back to earth... walking with her made so many things clear to me. most of the time, she wonders that i am either too innocent, or just plain stupid. sometimes its a bit of both.

she is just everything that i ever dreamed of, i really dont want to change that...

I love stephanie

Most Wanted Ruummate Finalists

2009-06-07T12:28:00.007+08:00

so guys and girls, do you know what is the most wanted Ruummate? neither do i...

nah.... just kidding(of course I am, if not someone will kill meh). it actually is sorta like a teen idol/beauty king or queen/most famous members on Ruumz.. just recently, I attended their unveiling at PacketHub in PJ. we were on the roof top, drinking booze and eating finger foods and mingling around, but most importantly, we get to know the finalist... all those lengchais and lengluis...

James Chong (third from right), chief executive of ruumzNation and the energetic ruumz team

really, these people are a friendly bunch, especially Uncle James! hehe(so.. so.. dead..)

Judges for the 'Most Wanted ruumate' campaign. From left, Fly Guy, Sarah Lian, Niki Cheong, Lu Jing Shia and Ross

Group shot of the finalists and judges

so boys and girls, if you do see any of these guys or girls interesting please vote for them at www.ruumz.com . here are the boys(scream girls, scream!)

Reuben Samuel

Jon Lee

Dicky Oscar

Derek Yeap

Boywin Lee

Asran Zakry

now that we r done with the boys, lets do the girls!!(pls la, dun so dirty)

Rachel Beh

Raessa Sha

Pearlyn Sin

Melissa Lim

Kiwi See

Kamen Liew

Ellie Chee

Coco Woo

Amanda Choe

Thats it boys and girls...now that were are done with them... lets go and sleep.. ZZZzzzzZZzzzz...

Dead...

2009-05-27T23:49:00.006+08:00

So yeah, my blog has been dead for quite some time, so screw.. i mean sue me... well, its basically bcuz i have nothing to blog about and i am actually going through a change of lifestyle... again..

been working my ass off for the last few months with a great company and a well paid job, but now im quitting that job so that i can continue my studies and focus on it.... Haaarrrddd... i dont want to waste anymore time on finishing my studies, so that i can chase my goal in the future. but i thank god i still have my baby.(not those kids, my gf la...) but overall, there are always sacrifices when one wants something, so i wanna have a better future, thats why im sacrificing my current financial stability, it do or die... russian roulette, stand up or bend over, u catch my drift...but anyways, i really hope that i am making a good choice, and im not gonna look back and go... DOOOHH!!.

so... all you assholes and biatches out there, if u see me in college.. do gimme some cash, cuz imma be ass broke(not that ass) when im in college... "abang ada 2 linggit ka?"

Her

2009-05-06T21:09:00.003+08:00

We had our 4th month anniversary on the 3rd of may, and i know its a bit late to blog about this, but im not really the blogger person much, i took her to Desa Park before midnight of the 2nd, then we found a nice spot to lay out my plan... hehehe... asked her to turn around to look away, and she did, so i took out yhe plastic bags full of rose petals of the color white, pink and red, and laid a heart shape on the grass, then placed the white gold ring(in the box) in the heart, she looked back, blur, but then, the smile, shock and awe came all at one. that look melted me straight away, and for that moment, i knew that everything i did was worth it. she then walked closer to see the box, but the first question she asked was "wassat ar? not those stainless steel rings one rite?" ...

then i picked up the box and popped open the lid, there her eyes told me she was suprised. told her it was a white gold ring with a little diamond on top she went like "real or not" but not until i showed her the lid of the box which has an imprint on it saying "TOMEI". then she literally stopped in her tracks, tried to compose herself for a moment and i can truly see that she was touched. never have i done things like this, thoughts like this always stayed at the back of my head, looking for the right girl and the right time to make these plans and thoughts of mine a reality... finally, it came true, she was the one who i want to make so many things realized for...

we sat, chatted and hugged on the walkway by the grass, talking about what went and what was coming. then the night ended with me driving her home..

the next day as i had to work, woke up groggily, to go to work, then i worked the whole day, knowing the prospect of part two of my anniversary plan... finished work, went to her place, took a kite... and guess what... we really went to fly a kite. went to the park along mrr2 on the way to kepong/damansara. it was packed, as we also started off quite rough as she was not in a really good mood. once we parked, got down,and walked around first. then we took the kite and started flying it, the both of us, running, trying to get the kite as high up as we can... but the gem of the day, to see her smile and giggle and laugh... that was the best and well worth it.

we were then exhausted, went for some ice cream... we were hungry, thirsty and exhausted so we muched down on our ice cream like grown people who has never tasted ice cream scoops from a motorcycle ice cream vendor before. those ice cream was heaven, malaysian style, could beat hagen dazs anytime. then as we were leaving, we contemplated on flying kites in the future and when we reached our car, it was blocked.. so im not gonna talk about the frustration i felt during the hold... so then we had a great 4th month anniversary...

all thanks to the girl whom i love most...stephanie

PS:for some pics, go to http://princess-steph.blogspot.com .

Hennessy Artistry

2009-04-20T15:04:00.005+08:00

you know what... this is my first time going to such a well awaited event, stephy baby told me abt it and i was anticipating it.. but she seemed to be like addicted to it... lol lol lol...

but anyways, you know what?!?! ITS HERE!!! ITS FINALLY HERE!!!

WO HOOO!!!(deserves a naked celebration dance at home, in my own room of cuz) juz kidding though, but anyways, i will be at THE mezza notte at Asian Heritage Row... hehehe... imma be there, im be at the press conference,(deserving another jiggle) the conference is gonna be at 8pm at Mezza Notte and both are gonna be held in the same day, which is on the 23rd April so imma be busy aight(starting to type lyke a drunkard, must be the alcohol LOL). later on .. hmm .. let see ..

But then hor, really cant wait... wuahahahahah

Starz Angelz

my virginity in going to a big time event is gonna be busted...lolol

local star Caprice(looks abit like Edison Chen no?potential?)

wuahahahha, im so thrilled that im also gonna travel all the way with my baby n jane to PENANG for Penang's Hennessy Artistry. crazey hor, summore on d same week and on saturday summore... cant wait cant wait cant wait!!!See you all there!!

PS: I LOVE U STEPHYBABY!!

My Weekend with Princess Part 2

2009-04-07T19:44:00.001+08:00

well, im not gonna update that just yet, gonna update when im home or later... ^^

*thinking of her...*

My Weekend with Princess part 1

2009-04-07T19:11:00.002+08:00

On Friday was our 3rd month anniversary, i finished work late at 8pm and rushed over to see her... i got her a "Confession of a Shoppaholic". I rushed over but it the roads were jammed up.. but then hor, i got there too... nevertheless, she said she has a plan and suprise for me, she took me to Desa Park Water Front(where we have most of our memories) and looked for a suitable spot to sit, we were walking and to our suprise, there were so many people!! got ppl jogging, walking, sitting around and also couples like us, going there to enjoy the scenery... it was a simple night...

SHE BROUGHT A CAKE ALONG!! i tried to peek but got scolded and told to be patient and wait.. so i did... then we found a nice seating and we had a talk... a talk about our future together and what we have gone through(like business review like tat but more emotional and mushy) then when we were done, we shifted to a nicer place to open our cake!! a beautiful Black forest cake. (pics at http://princess-steph88.blogspot.com ) I WAS MOLESTED!!! lol but seriously, this is my first... and the we put 3 candles for... duh... 3 moths of course and we wished and blew the candle together...

we were supposed to finish of the cake ourself... it was a half kilo cake!!we fed each other, and when we couldnt finish the cake, we decided to do a bit of vandalism... lol... VANDALISM BY CAKE!! we took the cream off the from the cake and start to aim for the pillars around the cake to fling the cream at.. lol! SO RANDOM! the we laughed, gigled and had a short walk to enjoy the night then we went to the toilet and then came out, saw a ermm.. u know.. those huge bouquet stands that ppl send to congratulate an opening of a shop?? lol we stole 2 flowers from that bouquet!! it was a random but simple night... then our day ended when i left for home...

I LOVE EVERYTHING U DID FOR ME BABY!!

Celebratin Earth Hour.... SHOPPING!!

2009-03-29T08:26:00.003+08:00

well, yesterday, baby came n pick me up after work at 3.30pm and our nest destination.... PAVILLION KL!! reason? SHOPPING! I promised her i will bring her shopping to buy her things that she wants...we reached pavillion... and we started browsing... literally everywhere, and my baby was so focused on finding something she wants, she was like a radar scanner when we entered or passed by a shop...LOL.

my baby's wants? a pair of killer heels, 5 inches high, and must be classy and "panasssss". we looked here, there, everwhere, but first, i bought her something she adored...an Anna Sui's Classic handle mirror.(note: for pix of what she got, visit my baby's blog at http://princess-steph88.blogspot.com and look out for updates) then we walked and walked till we can walk no more... we were torn between a few shoes, 1 in Tangs and 3 in Topshop... but finally got her a pair of "killer heels"(wonder why its called killer heels, is it cuz it kills the wearer by wearing it or it kills the people who look at it cuz its hawt..) from topshop, 4 pairs of knickers and a mini sling/purse bag... they gave my baby the largest plastic bag evahhh seen from Topshop..(for me i think) then we move on... but before that...

when my baby was trying out the shoes in Topshop, she asked me to check the price of the sling/purse bag and when i brought the bag to her, she saw the pricetag then i could see she had that "sayangnyer... i cant get you today..." but when i told her to just get it if she likes it... she was like, "really? really?" and that smile on her face i cannot forget, it was so sweet and nice... even when she was trying out the heels, lol... then we went to get her eye shadow from MAC. wow, a freaking small container the width of slightly larger than a 50cent coin costs a freaking 58 bucks? make up is costly... wow. but still i got it for her cuz its something she wanted and needed for herself... ^^V

after then we went to get a few of my stuff, a cap from Quicksilver, and a pair of new Converse sneakers(note to self, get my baby a pair of converse too...) then we had the most expensive dinner for two at Athena in PavillionKL. we had a full course meal of course, a starter, a main course, and a dessert... hehe.. oh yeah... and.. a pint of guiness draft for her and a pint of kilkenny for me... YAY! then we went to wait for earth hour... was quite dissapointing cuz it wasnt what i thought it would be., the lights, still as bright as hell.

next destination, Sungai Wang, cuz we needed to look for a pair of high boots for my baby but unfortunately we couldnt find any nice ones and some were too pricy just to wear for 1/2 times only LOL. then i got myself a white suit vest and a casual suit jacket.. pictures for what i got for myself will be uploaded here, while pictures for what i got for my baby will be at her blog http://princess-steph88.blogspot.com . currently in the office,sadly yes i do work on weekends sometimes and im doing overtime today... 8am-8pm!! im missing my baby, wish i was with her now... pictures will be uploaded when i am home and when i feel like it...

ps: i love you, hope u like the stuff i bought...

Secondhand Serenade - Fall for You

2009-03-20T00:23:00.002+08:00

This is for you... it speaks what my heart wants me to say... i really want a future with you..

I will work m best for the relationship that we have now... no matter what, i will not falter...

I really want to cuddle you and hold you always, love you and kiss you always, I have never complained and I never will, because I know that deep down inside my heart, that you are the one for me and I will have you no other way.

I LOVE YOU STEPHANIE!!! IM YOURS, ALWAYS....

Tears of Joy

2009-03-05T23:43:00.005+08:00

I was so happy when we picked ourselves up after the downward spiral... no matter what we held on, but as if being happy wasn't enough, my baby had a suprise instored for me today... i was so happy the whole day knowing that everything is going well, i was so happy infact that it didnt matter to me to walk as far as possible. First of all, baby told me she had a suprise waiting for me at her place later when i go over, then it got me all excited.. before i finished work, baby told me that she wasnt happy with the puchase that she got for the suprise, that she had to travel so far yet she only got the second best of what she wanted to get, she wasn't happy, but deep down inside, i was feeling so touched(better yet, i was molested), that someone would go to lenghts to get me something(eventhough i didnt know what was it).

when i finished work, i didnt know which type of transport i wanted to take yet, then i just walked, kept on walking, looking to see if there are any cabs, (i was singing my own lyrics, snapping my fingers to beats, smiling and thinking of my baby all the while i was walking) and just kept walking... i thought i had enough time as my baby was teaching piano, and i thought she finishes around 8.30pm++.

I walked all the way from my office Menara Weld, Raja Chulan all the way to Chow Kit, then thought of continuing walk to PWTC KTM station to head over to find my baby, then as i almost reach PWTC, my baby smsed me telling me her class ends at 8pm... i was like "sheyet, stupid me... its already 8pm on my watch" so i rushed to a cab to take to her place...

reached her place, had dinner then she asked me to her room... secretly...then she had her bed nicely made(now dont get dirty thoughts all over ur head...) and she asked me to open the covers... as i pulled open the covers i see this..

a Ne-Yo album and a stalk of white rose

my heart dropped, totally "molested"....i loved it...i was speechless, hugging her, kissing her and telling her how much i love her and appreciate everything she has done for me... never has a girl done anything like this for me... even for my valentines day.... but she has done everything which i have thought impossible...

the reason she bought the album was cuz she heard it on the radio "Year Of The Gentleman"

Muahahahaha... yesh, the gentleman... its mua... heheh!!

1 white rose meant "you're my only one, and I am worthy of you"

i didnt cry then, but i did when we reached my place as i was hugging her, looking at her... tears rolled down my cheeks, never have i cried out of joy for a girl i love... now baby did it...

she melted me, and made me whole... she held on even when she was feeling weary, and now we are stronger than ever... thank you for not giving up baby... i love you stephanie.

this is how it looks on my table now, with the valentines day card,piggy and the white wine we drank for valentines on the back ground

P.S:baby... i can not ask for more, you are all i want...

Happy 2Months Anniversary

2009-03-03T18:03:00.002+08:00

I love you as much as you love me,
it makes me glad to know we're meant to be,
as far as I want us to go,
Im sure that we are able to reach there slow,

we have found each other in places we least expect,
in places where we never thought we would have met,
but we bloomed from where we started,
eventhough there are times we parted,

i love every single thing you do,
despite through black and blue,
every moment i learn to cherish,
haha, i know im Teddy Bearish,

i love you through thick and thin,
even if u went, or came from where you have been,
there is no other person i would love more,
through everyday, i had to bear with missing you more,

its just been 2 months, but we have been though so much,
going through happiness and sadness and such,
i wish to continue together our story,
HAPPY 2 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY...

I LOVE YOU STEPHANIE. NO MATTER WHAT!

Dedicated to my baby....

2009-02-19T00:25:00.002+08:00

i know it sounds jiwang or emo... but its the lyrics that matters... enjoy....

~~~~~^*^*{Benjamin loves Stephanie}*^*^~~~~~

For my baby...

2009-02-18T00:26:00.006+08:00

Boyz To Men - Ill Make Love To You

Close your eyes,
make a wish And blow out the candlelight
For tonight is just your night
We're gonna celebrate,
all thru the night
Pour the wine,
light the fire
Girl your wish is my command
I submit to your demands
I'll do anything, girl you need only ask

Chorus:
I'll make love to you
Like you want me to
And I'll hold you tight
Baby all through the night I'll make love to you
When you want me to
And I will not let go Till you tell me to

Girl relax, let's go slow
I ain't got nowhere to go
I'm just gonna concentrate on you
Girl are you ready, it's gonna be a long night
Throw your clothes on the floor
I'm gonna take my clothes off too
I made plans to be with you
Girl whatever you ask me you know I'll do

I'll make love to you
Like you want me to
And I'll hold you tight
Baby all through the night I'll make love to you
When you want me to
And I will not let go Till you tell me to

Baby tonight is your night
And I will do you right
Just make a wish on your night
Anything that you ask
I will give you the love of your life

I'll make love to you
Like you want me to
And I'll hold you tight
Baby all through the night I'll make love to you
When you want me to
And I will not let go Till you tell me to

Ps: this is a song that i want to sing to you... the words directly portray what i feel for you... anything for you baby...

Valentines Day Galore

2009-02-17T13:02:00.004+08:00

I know its a bit late... but i had a SUPERB valentines... im currently in the office now... and im gonna update when i reach home later....

I LOVE YOU STEPHANIE KOK YEN LING!!!!!! WEEeeeEEeeeEEEe~~~

Im home updating this...

well, time to tell you guys what my baby did for me on my valentines day... and i love everything that she did for me... i was so molested(touched i mean)... It was a superb valentines day for me and her as i know that tears of happiness welled up on our valentines day...

the cross that she bought for me...

i have been wearing that cross since the day she gave it to me... its like my PREeeEECCIiiOOuuuSSS now... i was so molested as she remembered that i told her i wanted a cross necklace...

ahhh... miss Beany Love Piggy(bpl)

its been keeping watch over me and ensuring that i am able to sleep at night!! *oink oink*

the Coffee Bean Mug and Honey Sticks

i introduced my baby to coffee bean honey sticks the first day we met, and on the first day we met we spent a certain amount of time in coffee bean chilling out... it was great... like coffee addiction, i got hooked on to her... (my baby la, not coffee, maybe a lil bit of coffee too)

and since then, the mug has been ensuring that i keep hydrated with liquid(be it coffee, tea, milo or just water) when i am at work... i really love it...*molested*

and last but not least... she made a booklet/card for me by herself... *molested all the way through*!! its the things she wants to write about me, and the pictures of all the pampering and stuff that i have bought for her...

love lolly, bouquet of flowers and PINKY!!!!!

Its not princess, its madam, queen goddess of her royal highness may i kiss your feet... now try again!!

the famous amos and flower pre-valentines... and a part of the bouquet i bought before...

the bracelet that she loves so much...

the locket neclace i gave her... its the locket to her heart as my heart will earn the key to unlock it as we move in the relationship...

to know what i did for my valentines day... see my baby's blog... http://princess-steph88.blogspot.com/ and to also update urself abt us... we are the JIWANG couple...

I LOVE YOU STEPHANIE AND ALWAYS WILL!!!*molested*

You Might Be A....

2009-02-13T10:25:00.007+08:00

i came across these while i was working... yes, sometime i do have some free time while at work, im not all that lifeless... read this and who know you might just fit in... wakakaka

You might be a gay man if...
Everyone calls you gay
You own a shoe rack
You own a vase
You know where your retainer is
You've complimented someone on their sweater vest
You're not a rock star yet your still in to wearing tight pants
Your first name sounds like a last name ei: carson daly
You know what a foyer is
You watch wrestling for the greased up men
Your comments about hot girls are followed by deep introspection
Your not a redneck yet you have a mustache
Your dirty dishes are "yucky", but anal sex isn't

You might be a gay woman if...
Your beard is thicker than your dad's
You have tattoos where women shouldn't ei: arm, back, penis
You work at a carnival
You are bald for non-medical reasons
You have a pair of workboots
You have a pair of wrap-around sunglasses
You think skoal "is for pussies"
You really do need things strong enough for a man but made for a woman
You work at the dyke 'n dine
You are a professional football player
Your bar of choice has "tavern" in its name
You weigh 200 pounds, "but it's all muscle"
Your badass attitude is reflected in your haircut
You like having sex with other women!

You Might Be A Nerd If...
Your glasses are thicker than your arms
You idea of a fun night involves warcraft
You are known as a "gamer"
You wear an antenna
Your watch is a communication device
You not only not what an IP address is, but you know what YOUR IP address is
You've made fun of someone else's calculator because it wasn't as good as yours
You know your IQ
You know how many words-per-minute you can type
Your computer cannot be turned off because your downloading the next Lord of the Rings
Chess is your middle name
You built your own computer
You are Bill Gates

You might be a pussy if...
You missed school because of acne
Your friends are all pussies
Your friends are foreign exchange students
Your friends are your mom
You were in Hanson
You are wearing a Star Search T-Shirt
There is gum in your hair
Your greatest fear is the schoolbus
You play the flute
You can't go on roller coasters because of hypoglycemia
You are currently having an allergic reaction
Your favorite sport is uno
Getting up in the morning involves rash powder and lice shampoo

You might be tough if...
Your home is a motorcycle
Prison guards in more than 5 states know your name
You have 2 or more articles of clothing with the confederate flag on them
Your missing eye has a sweet story behind it
You don't know and probably will never know what Snapple is
Your life savings is in a lunch box in Mexico
All you need is "a good revolver and a fine pussy"
You think a chew tins are a single serving
You think your boots are worth more than the guy next to you's life
You light matches on your dick
Your tattoos had to be blurred out when you were on Cops

Enjoy!! ^^

PS: VALENTINES IS JUST TOMORROW!!! PREPERATIONS WILL BE DONE!!! WAKAKAKAKAKA!!!

Life Operator

2009-02-04T07:52:00.002+08:00

I believe in god,
I believe in a supernatural existence of a higher being that created us,
I believe that Jesus Christ existed,
I believe that Siddharta Gautama lived,
I believe that Prophet Muhhammad stepped on this world once upon a time ago....

But what I dont believe is that one is Fated to do something, Destined to become somebody... these things have never crossed my mind... a person, no matter borne of what background, may it be poor, rich, ugly, beautiful and etc. have their own choices to make in life. a baby born beautiful doesnt mean that it'll be beautiful for their whole lives. i know that sometimes, life sucks and we cant have everything in life, but its up to us to make the best of it, strive to be different..

nevertheless, where good things may be, bad things exists too... without know what is bad, how would we know what is good? and so the latter... Life isnt fair, but thats why rules, laws, morals, and ethics are made... by people, humans... like i said, its up to us to make the best of it...

I believe in the human will, not god's will... we are given minds to think for ourselves, to better ourselves, and to use what has god given us. humans are the best survivors there are, we are everywhere in the world, be it cold, hot, humid, or freezing.. we make the best of what we have and Survive....

there are so much more for me to say but its just too long... its in the wee hours of work in the morning, i have another a full day to go...but what the heck... who knows? i might be wrong... i might be rambling on pointless thoughts, but im just voicing it out... ^^V

PS: baby..... Ai ai ai ai ai i i i i Lo o ov v ve ve e e Yo yo yo o ou ou ou ou u u...*echoes*(cuz im calling all the way from mah office... wahahaha)

GONG XI GONG XI!!

2009-01-26T08:59:00.000+08:00

wah... chinese new year liao lo... currently sitting in the office boring ma ass off... kanasai..

came to the office and my colleagues said to me " eh, this is the first day of CNY and people should be waking up, greeting their parent's GONG XI FATT CHAI and getting ang paos... not waking up and coming to work" i wish i can do the latter..

ahhh.. the well known and most copied red packets...

in malaysia, ang paos come in diff colors, like green for hari raya, and errmm... ahhh... black? blue? for deepavali... hehehe(paiseh) but malaysia is so diversed that we mix and share cultures(except from the sunat part). but anyways, im looking forward to a great year. because im able to share it with someone special...*hint-hint*...

i was driving through Sentul to Jalan Ipoh yesterday to a chinese temple, and on the roads, it seemed like all the chinese in malaysia has been evaporated or extinct... but i felt relieved when i reached the temple(im not alone). and this morning was a smooth drive all the way in kl...

in the office we can actually shoot the new series of "LOST" because we are literally stranded in the office, with no nearby food shops(all closed), the roads are empty and we cant go anywhere until our work is over... T_T summore the call volumes are so low today that i really feel like im in "LOST"...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! ANG PAO NA LAI!!

ps: i love u Stephanie Kok Yen Ling...

Tadaaaaa~~~~!!

2009-01-20T13:40:00.000+08:00

this is her... the one who is holding my heart now... the one whom i think of day and night, the one whom i miss every single day and the one whom i love so much...

if u look properly , behind those boxes is where my heart lay...

its like despite what is happenening i really want to love her... not caring what happens tomorrow, the day after... living everyday as if its your last day on earth....

omg, this picture took my breath away....*wheeze*

i have never treated her like any i've met before, i know that she is special... so special in fact, im willing to stand in the rain for her... i dont care...

I ish klaysee.... klaysee man with klaysee woman!!

she makes me love her like "klaysee" and i dont want that feeling to go away... the moments we have, and the times we share...

Klaysee man and klaysee woman part 2... wuahahahah

sometimes the random things she does makes me blush(and she is damn good at it), i have never recieved anything like so before, and i thought i would never find love like this anymore...

biii~~ i wan eat~~... *giggles*

What i wanna do right now is to stand on top of a mountain, like lookout point and scream "I SCREAM YOU SCREAM, EVERYBODY LIKES ICE CREAM!!" hahaha... no, but seriously, what i wanna scream is " BENJAMIN YAP KOK BIN LOVES STEPHANIE KOK YEN LING!!!!"

and i really do~~~

Queen of Hearts

2009-01-13T21:33:00.000+08:00

i know its been a short duration, but i have never felt so wanted in my life. my biggest fear is feeling unappreciated for what i do... its because of my past experiences and the fickleness of some people's minds that have brought this fear in me. I told myself not to give too much but then again, i cant stop being who i am... but right now... i feel like im being in love for the first time again.

i know this sounds dramatic, but i always have a way with words and feelings. i always put my feelings into words, never fearing what other people might think of me. with each passing day, as i get to know her more, the more i find that im falling more and more of her... even when i work, i think of her. never knowing what tomorrow might bring, i still want to care and love her. i tell myself "live life as if its the last day that you'll be on earth". do you all know how it feels again to have your first love? im sure everyone does, at a certain point in their lives. truth be told, i am actually feeling it right now, despite having years and years of experiences.

with her, i just couldnt care so much about what i have been hurt about in the past. with her, i just wanna live a new love and feel brand new again. im not exaggerating this but this is how i feel deep down inside of me.

"life is to short to worry about so many things"

ps:I love you...

Yeah... Its you...

2009-01-08T21:11:00.000+08:00

Thank you for coming into my life.... as we speak, my life is changing.... all for the better.... ^^V

Goodbye sad 2008, Hello unknowing 2009

2009-01-02T22:06:00.000+08:00

2008 oh 2008... it was a year full of ups and downs, never knowing what came next... never knowing what hid just around the corner. many things happened unexpectedly... loving and then not loving again... finding and losing again...

im smiling and feeling sad while im writing this, how i so wanted the year to end and it did... hoping the new year will bring on new blessings... i have to thank Ren, Zoey, Wen, Angel, Shawn, and StephK for coming for my new year chillout...

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

Guy's point of view

2008-12-29T22:54:00.000+08:00

This is very cute! And even written by a guy! You might agree with it, but when it actually happens 99% of girls don't realize it 'til it is too late and that guy who did it is so frustrated that he has moved on to someone who will take notice.

From a guys point of view:

We don't care if you talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're friends with other guys. But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till the morning.

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it. Don't tell us we're wrong.We'll stop trying to convince you.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.

Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood im in.

LET US PAY FOR YOU! DON'T 'FEEL BAD'

We enjoy doing it. It's expected. Smile and say 'thank you.'

Kiss us when no one's watching.

If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us. If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own. We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are. Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. Or my t-shirt and boxers, not all dolled up.

Don't take everything we say seriously.

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing.

See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.

It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.

Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'. I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of. On the other hand im not sayin i wouldn't like it either.

Girls: I cannot stress this enough:

IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE.> DITCH HIS SORRY DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION ASS, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT Someone who will honor your morals. Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest. Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes. Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel. Someone who will stop what theyre doing just to look you in the eyes....and say 'i love you' ..........AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT!

*****Give the nice guys a chance*****

Holdin Hands- >

Girls : If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times. >

Guys : Grab it if it happens more than once.

Cuddling- >

Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold. >

Guys : Automatically move closer to her.

Movies->

Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder >

Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.

Loving each other- >

Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it.

Laying below the stars- >

Girls : When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat >

Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers. Now make a wish about something you would like to happen Between you and your crush....

if any of you guys out there who thinks this is true and wants to repost this on ur blog or whatever, go ahead... let the girls know that there are still nice guys out there... not all guys are jerks..

Afro Gunso!!

2008-12-25T22:37:00.000+08:00

Today i met up with Roe Jin aka RJ aka Rojakmaumau aka rojakrojak and much more... i was rotting at home so i decided to go out... me up with her in Midvalley, then we headed to The Gardens for dinner... had dinner at Sushi Zanmai(this is the best place for sushi, will tell why in later posts) which was superb. before she came i shopped a bit as the sale that was on was crazy and all of a sudden, Midvalley became Petaling Street, so crowded and its crazy. from the south court to the north court usually takes about 3-4mins to reach but today it took 15mins++ to do the same... Clay See Hor!!

anyways, we had a great time then i decided i want to get myself an action figure(those that you have to assemble yourself) then i came across a lot of keroros(if u dont have an idea what is it then go to youtube and search for "Keroro Gunso") then one caught my eye...

TADAAA~~~ AFRO GUNSO!!!

and i was juz singing the song before i saw it... its fated i tell you... FATED!!
somewhere updere there is a god!! tenkiu oh god of babes and dudes... i plaise lu!

the manual and the parts...

Took me abt 30mins to assemble the whole thang... the eyes are changeble!! can swap eyes 1 leh... wao... if u can do that in real life damn "song" eh, like u go club use this pair of eyes and go to work use this set of eyes... cool hor? StimZzzzzz.....

keroro singing karaoke!! AFROOOOOO!!!

the microphone and the boxing gloves are stored in a compartment inside its afro...Stimzz.

I box u den u know... "song" hor? cute hor? like meeee.....

Do the boogie Yeah... Do the boogie Yeah

cmon, sing with mee~~ Aii Kotobawa~~ Afuroo Gunso~~

come closer... BooOOO~~~

Watch the MV below... its the closing song for the Anime...

P/S: if u go to Sushi Zanmai, and you can find other places with better sushi than Zanmai, let me know... cuz its almost impossible....

P/S again: STIMMMSSSSSSSZZZZZZZZ~~~~~~~~~~~

21 Things Girls Dont Realize About Guys

2008-12-24T11:18:00.000+08:00

1) Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about....

2) Guys are more emotional than you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.

3) Guys go crazy over a girl's smile(:

4) A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

5) Giving a guy a hanging message like 'You know what?..uh...nevermind..' would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

6) If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

7) A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

8) GUYS LOVE YOU MORE THEN YOU LOVE THEM!!!

9) Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole heck of a lot.

10)If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

11)If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and he is really thinking about something

12) When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really isGuys rarely say that

13)When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, 'Please come and listen to me

14)If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

15) When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinkingsomething.

16) Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them

17)A guy would give the world to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

18)No guy can handle all his problems on his own.He's just too stubborn to admit it

19)NOT ALL GUYS ARE RUDE!!!Just because ONE is RUDE doesnt mean he represents ALL of them

20)WHEN A GUY SACRIFICES HIS SLEEP AND HEALTH JUST TO TALK TO YOU, HE REALLY LIKES YOU AND WANTS TO BE WITH YOU AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

21)Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his lifeYea, another Copy Pasted entry. Hehehe......Same old reason; too BUSY! :D

all courtesy of whynick.blogspot.com ... and yes he copied and pasted it too... and i find the statements here very true!!

1st day of AmEx

2008-12-09T23:08:00.000+08:00

Im HERE!!!

Menara Weld Jalan Raja Chulan

Exciting siao... my first time working in a international corporate company, first office job, and first financial institution job! my god, i lost 3 virginities at once!(dont worry, am still virgin on other things, and dont get dirty) i was so thrilled to actually start work here, i was actually supposed to wake up at 6.30am so that i can roughly reach there before 8.30am cause thats when my job/training starts... but, i woke up at 5am, and couldnt sleep back after wards, was too thrilled of loosing my virginities, i didnt care if i loose any sleep^^

anyways, i reached at 7.45am, had coffee, waited till 8.30am. Then David, a team leader and an his subordinate Aidil aka Eddy, "escorted us to the 19th floor. And thats where we start our first basics of knowing the company...

(from left)Alan, Yogi, Rita(behind), Tatianna, Dave, May, Jasmine, Adam and Raj.

it seems i wasnt the only trainee, there were 9 other Authorizations trainees in my batch, and that is actually considered a lot of new comers according to what i heard from Eddy.

(from left) Eddy, Benny and ME!(i know i look goofy >_<)

we were then joined by another one of David's subordinates Benny. Both Benny and Eddy handles training for Authorizations department. and on that day, i learnt a lot... and i meant a lot cuz we were basically jailed in the training room the whole day, and the training room is gonna be our jail for the following week... :<

We were briefed of jargons, departments, toured, and so on.

me and Eddy, one of our trainer cum escorts

why do i say escorts its cuz we dont have our door passes yet, and so we rely on them to bring us in and out!( im startin to like dis job... muahahaha)

Authorizations Director Jamie and Team Leader David

below are 10% of the stuff we learnt today....

Basic Values or BBV ( dont remember what the other B stands for cuz there were too much jargons and acronyms used)

Customer Commitment

We develop relationships that make a positive differance in out customers' lives.

Quality

We provide outstanding products and unsurpassed service that, together deliver premium value to our customers.

Integrity

We uphold the highest standards of integrity in all our actions.

Teamwork

We work together, across boundaries, to meet the needs of our customers and help our company win.

Respect for People

We value our people, encourage their development and reward their performance.

Good Citizenship

We are good citizens in the communities in which we live and work

A Will to Win

We exhibit a strong will to win in the marketplace and in every aspect of our business

Personal Accountability

we are personally accountable for delivering on our commitments

and our OBJECTIVE is...

To monitor and control spending, to allow maximum possible credit exposure with the minimum credit and fraud risks.

p/s:- the superiors in this company are all so down to earth and friendly... even the GM is a funny fella.. can make jokes summore... syok la...heheh...

American Express here i come!!

2008-12-05T17:20:00.000+08:00

No not the express trains.... AmEx!! the credit card!!

not the chuu chuu train...chugga,chugga,chugga...

anyways, im really happy that i found a job that will keep me slightly busy on week days.. work time is from 7am till 11am. only four hours but still i get income for weekdays... and weekends, i can still continue my weekend jobs!

my brother started off with the same job, worked a few years, travelled up to Team Leader, worked his ass off for a few more years then got offered to go OCBC to take up the post of Manager... good for him! so it seems like men in our household needs to go through AmEx to become real MEN!! lol, just kidding... anyways, im really looking forward to it!!

starting work on tuesday!

PS: please dont buy fur, i beg anyone of you not to... watch the video below and you'll know why...

Walls Mini Poppers Mr.Mini Roadshow

2008-11-26T01:30:00.000+08:00

I have been workin for the past few months with a road show... and the sad thing is that i have to wear this mascot every weekend.. some say that it looks huge, round and cute and yet some say it's terrifying, if you guys live around KL and go to outlets such as Giant, Carrefour and Juscos, im sure you will come across it...

Tadaaaa... cute hor, hor...

the reason that this thing drains me is that it weighs 10kgs and and there are only 3 supports, the head, and the shoulders. the only place you can see where you are going are the eyes of this lil, i mean huge monster. but the eyes are not eye level as i need to take my head off the head support and move forward to have a better view so i dont walk straight into children, so this factor minus it down to 2 supports. And so, now im typing with a sore shoulder.

Dum dee dum dum....

And the kids i tell you, they go crazy... some comes over and shakes my hand and some likes to bully me as they push me around and pull and etc. PARENTS!! CONTROL YOUR CHILDREN!! but the parents just stands aside smiling as their children torture me from the inside out -__-"

but once in a while i come across children who are very nice and polite. they give me hugs, they kiss my hand and say hi, they pet me(woff woff). and at times i scare the hell out of some kids. they spot me from far, staring at me sitting in their trolleys and as i walk closer, they shrug, and closer, they....... CRY!!! scary nia...

angarde!! Mr.Mini the swash buckler!!

but as some kids bully me, i bully them back to... MUAHAHAHA!! i grab them and pull their hands into the mascot or i get hold of the styrofoam sword and scare the hell out of them... MUAHAHAHA!!!

wat u lookin at? i jab you i tell you!!

but overall, its been hell and heaven at the same time.(most of it hell) i've had fun, and now i know how hard is it to become a bloody mascot. now i know not to bully them..... too much...

kakakakakakakakakakakakaka..............

be good ar... dont jab arrr

Tidaaaakkkk... mini, tidaaakkk. bukan sayaaaaa....

Is This All a Joke?

2008-11-21T02:08:00.000+08:00

it has been a rough week for me... or so to say, the whole month has been shitty for me.

i had to work everyweek on this road show which takes up so much of one's energy, that you might think you signed up a pact with the devil. working for 2 days on this road show needs you to take 3 days rest.( yes its that bad)

then the relationship i had with her was on a rocky road south, i pulled up all the positiveness from me to hope that it'll go through... but it went downhill and ended. i never though it will come to this, or have i been so blinded? but nonetheless, it couldnt have been worse when everything comes crashing down.

after that, of all my stupidity and carelessness, i lost my friend's PSP. he was ok with it and i promised to get him a new one, but i still feel bad as i lost something that doesnt belong to me. he said he is ok and he is ok, but i still feel bad. but thats not all...

as if it werent bad enough, as if god wanted to play a little game of sadness, i had a quarrel with my best friend. my best friend of 13 years, my buddy and my bro. with all these happening, i broke down twice, as i dont break down often and its not easy for me to break down but i did. so dear someone up there... if you wanted to see me cry, yes, you have done a great job, a superb job in fact.

within a week, i had to lose a girl i love, lose my friend's psp(money$$$) and to also lose my best friend... how bad could it be?

but after all, i have to thank Benjamin Chan(the friend whom i lost his PSP) for taking me out and allowing yourself to spend some time with me(work stuff and yum cha)... i really feel greatfull to you...

p/s: God, you know i love you. I hope this rainy season ends soon.

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang tlah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

-Kenangan Terindah by Samsons-

The End

2008-11-16T02:08:00.000+08:00

Enough Said... Its Over

Shifting Sands/Falling Like a Rock...(emo)

2008-11-14T03:03:00.000+08:00

Think what you readers want to think, this is just how i feel in side right now... this moment.. thats all...

No matter what I do, no matter how i smile, no matter how i go crazy and joke and laugh, I feel heavy inside...

I dont find any use of me being around anywhere, anytime, anyday...

It doesnt feel the same as things change, people change, times change...

I feel lost, empty and hopeless...

Doesnt it matter to people that now is the present? That the present is where we are?

Like a rock i fall hard, falling hard on my knees...

Am I the saint or the devil?

I thought laughter brings on laughter, and smiles brings on smiles...

Is it to tell, is so hard and to listen, is so easy?

waiting and waiting for this moment to pass...

Everything by Lifehouse

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Seasons Change

2008-11-06T01:17:00.000+08:00

She made my day today, even if it only was for an hour... i bought an elmo puppet on sunday during work. it was a random gesture, as i passed by the stall and i saw this big,round and read head with eyes bulging and glaring back at me... instantly i stopped on my feet. i asked my colleagues to hang on. i picked it up and to my disbelief, its an elmo puppet! i asked for the price and tried it on my hands... and the first thing that came to mind was " she will definitely love this, and this i can use to cheer her up..."

this was exactly how it looked back at me "elmo wants to go home with you"

i told the man to hang on to it, i will come back after my lunch... and throughout lunch i was think only thinking about her and how to make her smile(at that time, longed for her smile). after lunch, i bought it, plaved with it, and amused myself (yes, i can amuse myself)

after work was done, we all went back on the same car, and i was sitting in the front passenger seat playing with the elmo and other road users... i used the elmo to say hi on this guy driving a satria, and he laughed, smiled, and gave me a thumbs up when he drove off... if this thing can make random people smile and laugh, im sure it will do the same to her...

for the past few days.. i tried my best to hold back on contacting her as to give her space for the "time out" but i cant help but to feel my heart becoming heavier and heavier(its that feeling you get when you miss someone so much but yet you cant tell her) i spoke to her online a few times trying to shut down the mushy side of my brain... it was like winter for me(i know it wasnt easy on her either)

cold sia... brrrr....

then i wanted to pass her the puppet today, but she wasnt at her room so i thought, if it wasnt meant to be today, it wasnt meant to be... then i went to a cyber cafe to play some DOTA adn halfway trough, Danush came walking to me saying "Oi, ur gf outside la... she at the malay makan shop there"(and he was loud, as always^^)

i went out immediately, left my game there and just walked out to see her... the moment i saw her, my heart dropped(yes it did, i had to bend over to pick it up) then the hug she gave me.. my heart vapourised... it was that warm.. i went to the car to pass her the elmo, she was shocked... and we had dinner with her friends... after dinner she wanted me to send her back, and that time my brain was thinking "i still cant be too mushy, but its good enough she still held my hands"... we stopped in front of her hostel, and then we hugged...exchanged misses and kisses on the cheeks. after a while... she whispered to me " I want you back". i was happy but suprised, so i kept my cool and said "you sure" then the reply was "yes".

instantly, i turned into a slush of warm liquid(as in i melted la, so guys, no dirty thoughts pls) and hugged her like there was no tomorrow...

in short, she made my day, she made winter turn into spring, she made me warm again...

my heart blossoms

-Dying for just another moment And I'm just dreaming Counting the ways to where you are- Five For Fighting

Patrick says Hi...

2008-11-01T00:24:00.000+08:00

Im sitting right here with patrick. He tells me to tell you that he said hi... both he and I misses you... I know you have to go to Ipoh tomorrow, so both Patrick and i wishes you a safe trip and hopes your troubles away.. We shall pray for your safe passage thru and fro... Hope that you have fun there^^

Duh... Hi!!

I shall wait my dear, for both your returns...

"Teringat di saat kita tertawa bersama,
Ceritakan semua di tangkipkan."-Peter Pan-

Fallen over my head and heels

2008-10-29T14:09:00.000+08:00

Due to unforseen circumstances, i shall not be posting here anymore... as empty i feel inside, i really have nothing to write, nor do i have any mood to write after today...

"Sitting here and waiting is all i can do"

Many things cannot be predicted as love cannot be either... I do not feel much broken hearted, but just lost...

"I cannot stop someone from taking the road"

Im not being overly dramatic but just stating out how I feel right now... and I shall try to understand and go through this break/rest that I am having now...

"Cant say I'm Free, Cant say I'm Bound"

I believe I feel a crack coming from somewhere deep inside me...where can it be?

"Looking Left, Looking right, I see no roads"

As predictable as things seem, or no matter how you plan things out, it never works out the way its supposed to be... so go with the flow?

"Lost, thats where I am. Lost, thats what I am,"

Until further notice, i shall not be blogging again... Farewell...

Elmo's World

2008-10-22T14:19:00.000+08:00

i know i havent been posting much lately and its because i choose not to at the moment...no inspiration la.... but hey wait... there is this video that i bumped into in youtube... it has got to be the best Elmo spoof in the world!! hahah... he sounds like elmo but doesnt looks like it but its good...

my eldest sister watched this video then she said... that elmo video u have here damn "Baka"(stupid in japanese) la... this elmo reminds you people how scary the entertainment industry is... man... come to talk abt elmo... i have actually been dedicating myself to find good elmo spoofs because my girlfriend loves elmo..

she loves him so much, everytime she hears elmo laugh, she damn syok one... she sees an elmo plush toy she goes "OMG... I WANT...." . so yeah... i find elmo videos just to kacau her... if you havent noticed, all the videos i find are very un-elmo like... so i like it... "its all love"..

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

Something Tabby Should Watch

2008-10-06T03:23:00.000+08:00

The Elmo reminds me tad a bit of someone actually... "like that la now" haha^^

Dedication: From then till now

2008-10-04T01:25:00.000+08:00

This post is gonna be mushy so BEAR WITH IT!

This post is dedicated to the girl who took my heart away, we have some rough times but thats now important, whats important is our good times and whats to come. She is currently back in sarawak for her holidays and i have not seen her for 2 and a half weeks and i miss her dearly...

So baby, this is for you...

me trying to show her my PRO-NESS of salsa dancing ^^

Received this pic just recently and i didnt know it exists till she told me she came across it in her external hard disk and this pic was taken by Amirul, a friend of ours. It was the first time i met her in Rainforest Sports Bar in Pavillion KL... We were there for an open mic session as our friend was performing.. we immediately got hooked with each other

"Muahaha~~ ur mine now!" me with that insane look

Us camwhoring as were bored watchin a football match

This wasnt really our second outing but its the second outing that we took picture at, were watching football at Uncle Don's in Desa Sri Hartamas....

Muahaha, I remember we stole a light baton that the security guards used in Midvalley KL as it was left ion a blockade divider...as we sped of i saw a security guard riding back to the scene of the crime(muahaha again) i think he left it there accidentally...(and again Muahahaha) *tag, we were with Danush, Andrew and we met up with Daryl and his friends as we were n Hartamas*

I handsome hor... hor... hor....

Telentime Night in TARC... she was wearing a sweet white dress when i saw here there(she was a commitee member so i couldnt ask her out) and my heart stopped then my jaw dropped(ooh..rhymey) as she to me, was the hottest girl alive there(and still heart stopping when i am thinking about it now)

And the first thing that came to my mind was "OH-MY-GOD, SHE-LOOKS-HOT" (hey, it rhymes too)

Me keeping macho but actually melting inside

C'mere You

Our 3 months anniversary ^^... We went to Amuleto's in Mid Valley KL for western style food, the food was great, the ambient was great, the girl was hot(i mean Tabby)

We went for a movie there then went for dinner, i was so contented, what else could i ask for... a perfect day out with the girl i love...

Ooh,Sexay

Eh, i shy la...

Aw, she camwhored for me from Sarawak.

And this was the last picture that i have of her, sadly it doesnt have your truly*points at self* in it... hehe... and SHE IS COMING BACK NEXT SUNDAY!!!! WOOO HOOO~~~

PS:Baby, if you're reading this, Ill be here for you when you're back...^^

Me?Tagged?

2008-09-22T00:42:00.000+08:00

Why tag me... i damn lazy to tag leh...and i dont even thing ppl are gonna read my blog(i hope they do secretly)..

Got a picture Tag from Tabby(miao) and i have to do it...

a) Answer the questions below,do a Google Image Search with your answer,take a picture from the first page of results,do it minimal words of explanation.

b) Tag 5 other people to do the same once you’ve finished answering every question.

1: The age you'll be on your next birthday:22

he's holding my "dragonfruits" LMAO!

2. A place you’ll like to travel to: Venice

Fulamak! Romantico! VEryNice^^

3. Your favourite place:Beside my baby...

the only place i wanna be right now...

4. Your favourite food:Sushi!

Walaoeh.... Im hungry now...

5. Your favourite pet: British Bulldog

leathery cuteness...

6. Your favourite colour combination :Red and White And Black

i dont know what is it but it looks nice to me...^^

7. Your favourite piece of clothing:T-shirts

Juz Like Me :)

8. Your all-time favourite song:

Fuiyohhh... Molested...(as in touched)

9. Your favourite TV show: House

I like sarcastic humor...and hugh laurie roxx

10. First name of your significant other/crush:

She is so gonna kill me and say... NO OTHER PICTURE ISSIT?

12. Your screen/nickname: Bornblur

a baby(newborn) in a blurred picture... get it? get it?

13. Your first job: Salesperson

i sell things, except for my ass...

14. Your dream job/jobs: a billionaire

Its hard work being a billionaire, writing cheques, paying cash, shopping and etc..

15. A bad habit you have: laziness

yes baby... its a pug...*sigh*

16. Your worst fear: Gays/trannies touching me..

no touch-ie please( they wanna touch me badly)*i dont mind having them as friends but juz not touching me so much*

17. The one thing you’d like to do before you die: Ride every roller coaster in the world

WHEEEEEEE~~~

18. The first thing you’ll buy if you get $1,000,000: Lamborghini Murcielago

I LIKE!!

I Tag :-

1}Danush Ram

2}Carolyn

3}bernard

4}Carol

5}Felicity

Got myself a "Wife"

2008-09-17T23:31:00.000+08:00

Today i was walking around in sungai wang Chambers Music Store, as i walked around the store i tried so hard to look for the one i wanted... i looked and looked and actually i had something else in mind but i couldn't find it in the shop... then as i was still looking, i saw something just as good, sounds just as good and feels just as good... i was doubtful at first and as i tried to understand it better, i seem to grew on to it...

i know the qulity of the picture sux... this is the frontside of the guitar bag

i really wanted a guitar badly so i can continue with my song writings and also practice songs just in case i needed to perform anytime in the future... i had to make sure the guitar was right for me.

the logo font looks abit the gothic hor...

Danush said that i might grow to regret as there might be better ones outside or when i purchase this and see one which is better... but i think really wanted this particular guitar... its good enough to be my first one.

oh, it has a built in equalizer and tuner... just love it...

it looks nice with a marble like finish on the rims of the guitar, Danush recommended me a full back guitar(guitars which are 1/3 bigget than the normal guitars you see) but then again, it doesnt matter as i had my eyes set on this one...

nice huh...

and finally, i thank Danush for all his efforts to help me find me a suitable and nice guitar... Thanks bro...

Wanna Play With My Strings?

2008-09-17T12:07:00.000+08:00

Finally, Im able to buy myself a guitar today... im planning to buy an acoustic guitar with pick ups(that means a built in microphone and a cable jack to hook up to an amp) and im trying to make it simple as possible... budget between RM 300-400... as long as its good its ok...lol

to let you know why i need to buy a new guitar, i once had a yamaha classical guitar... and i left it at my friend's place a approximately a year ago, when i stayed over at his house. i forgot to ask him back till a month a go... i called him with my number and he doesnt pick upmy call so i used a different number to call him then he picked up... i asked him where is he and he usually says he is in Kota Kinabalu or some other place(hes a pilot for MAS and no he's not hot....)i told him i'll get the guitar from him when he comes back to kl then when he does, i called ends up him and he ends up evading my calls... DARN IT!

i feel like strangling him right now

Ps : i know that is also somewhat my fault... so dont lecture me you sluts...

She is 975.79 Kilometres Away

2008-09-17T04:34:00.000+08:00

I wont be able to see her for another 3+ weeks.. im left stranded on one side of the peninsular and she is at another... my heart longs to be with her as it misses her dearly... can anyone give me ideas how to spend my 3 weeks without her?

its not easy not being able to see the person you love so much...

Tabby should watch this!!

2008-09-16T11:38:00.000+08:00

Im Back!

2008-09-15T16:25:00.000+08:00

Im back and still dont have a camera with me...(sad..) but im gonna steal pics from my sis... hehe..

OMG!!! TABBY IS LEAVING FOr SARAWAK TOMORROW DI!!!and she's not gonna be gone for 1 week, not 2 weeks but 3 weeks++... habis la me...someone pls help me... give me some suggestions...how le?

Apalah nak buat nie... im gonna miss her so much...

Gonna Miss Her...

2008-09-13T15:22:00.000+08:00

nothing needs to be said in this entry...

JoHor Here We Come!

2008-09-13T12:02:00.000+08:00

Today will be the day that most of my family members will be travelling to Johor...its for my eldest's sister's wedding and this is the grooms celebration. We juz had the bride's (which is my family's) side celebration(reception) last sunday and this sunday will be a funday!(lame) anyways... now i want to know how my bro-in-law's hometown is abt,hope i wont get bored.

there were pictures of my sis' wedding part 1 and i will gather the roesources and post it as soon as possible!!(got to get myself a camera...deng) wont be posting anything in a while cuz i will be in Johor so c ya!!

Its Alive! Its Alllliiiivveeeee!!!

2008-09-12T23:59:00.000+08:00

whee... i finally have streamyx at home now!! Im connected to the world!! i really have to thank Telecom Malaysian for being so swift about it and now, my blog is alive again(as if anyone reads it). I just realized how long have i not been blogging(centuries) when i logged on and say the amount of cobwebs on my blog(lame). i couldn't blog last time because i had lack of privacy and resources. Now, my dream is fulfilled!!!

Lets get started... well, i have been working a lot nowadays and realized how many friends i have and i found someone who really treasures me!!

here's the girl i love so much ( camwhoring sia )

She makes me feel wanted, loved and yet abused... (scratch that) and she makes me love her so much!! so so much!! I feel like im blogwhoring about her... LMAO anyways, here's some details abt her, she's small, cute, pretty, most importantly smart, lovable and bimbo-ish (ugh!!) and all that adds upt to - - - - - -TABBY!!

me screaming out 'I LOVE YOU'

Well, what can i say... Im a sucker for love...tee hee

Ah... Its Over

2007-10-30T18:16:00.000+08:00

Finally the Loreal Purezone Finals are over!! well, sadly I didn't win it. But, yes there is a but, I have gained a lot. Exposure, supporters and most of all, experience! I'm really happy all my close Friends & Relatives arrived to support me that day. So, eventhough without winning, i now know that so many people cares for me. And, to know that the music I write and compose can actually reach out to so many people. It touches me so, I feel so molested (with puns intended).

so I wanna make a shout out to everyone that supported me all the way through the event. " THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR BLESSINGS AND SUPPORT, I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN." I'm sure I'm gonna produce my music soon enough!! thank you all!! i'll be sure to post up the pictures of the event soon enough!

My Dream Guitar..

2007-10-24T12:10:00.001+08:00

Im sure every one has something of their dreams. May it be a car, house job or even like me, a guitar!! every time i pass by a guitar shop i literally slobber all over it!!( goo goo Gaa Gaa) its like my dream chick:>

Damn happy right? Imagine if it were in my lap for once!

I would have an orgasm on the spot!(Metaphorically speaking again)

But its just so sad... Its so expensive yet so tempting... the classic look, polish, fine wood, ooohh.. the wood... Its like Im a small kid standing by a candy store and my parents say "NO!", "NO CANDY FOR YOU". sad :(

ohhh.... so near yet so far.

Oh why why, must you be so cruel? My dear Stratocaster!

Sweet isn't it? damn Sweet!!

Count down.!

2007-10-24T11:53:00.000+08:00

Whoa.. How time flies. Its 2 more days till the finals and Im so nervous Im wetting my pants every night now (metaphorcally speaking). Well... I have to really thank my Family and Friends cuz they are really giving me a lot of support now. And Im so surprised that they all so "pei min" me that they will all come and support me... syok weh!

Then im sure that they will sure come like this one...

Crazy weh!! (I wish)

Anyways, I really look forward to the coming night and then hope it all turns out well... hehe.. cross my fingers!

L'Oreal Paris Pure Zone: CYD Returns - Yap Kok Bin

2007-10-09T15:54:00.001+08:00

lookit this!!!

The Voting Begins

2007-10-09T15:39:00.000+08:00

whoa.. the website purezone.com.my is now up for voting. Well, I've actually viewed my video on youtube and d first song " This is How it Goes " is actually one of the songs that i would perform on the final night.. chech it out, and i hope you guys enjoy it!

My dreams

2007-09-27T20:47:00.000+08:00

Music has been a part of my life for quite some time... I mean i really like music a lot. Apart from listening to it, i put my hands in to writing n composing some songs. Well, my inspirations of my music are of Vertical Horizon, Third Eye Blind, Matchbox 20 and all the other alternative bands out there.

Everybdy likes music right, and so I will dedicate this blog to music. Will actually start posting up my compositions and if I can I mignt also post up my recordings here. I'll be more htan happy to recieve any comments from anyone. ^_^

With the help of my guitar and the rest of ou readers, i might actually improve on a lot of things.. thank you and feel free to read and surf the net... MUSIC ROCKS!!

Loreal Pure Zone Cash Your Dream Contest

2007-09-26T22:46:00.000+08:00

Wow, it's unbelievable that I have actually been shortlisted for the finals!! Something new and a fresh start for me to kick off my music!! I mean, how many people has actually gets a chance like this? well, for details, the finals are on the 27th of october 2007 in zouk mainroom... and you can vote for anyone of the finals at http://purezone.com.my/.

Damn its such a kickass dream that i would love to have it realised. Hope i can really win some of your hearts and support me in my finals.. I think that would b all i ask of... heh ^_^