Reasons I Shall Not be Smoking

even uncle sam is urging me to stop. i should and i am.

after this post onwards, i am not gonna take up any cigarettes anymore...

1. it cost me money where i can use it up for something more productive.
2. its disappointing and hurting my parents and my loved ones.
3. its not good for health.
4. there is no benefits from smoking.
5. if my baby has quit smoking, so can i.
6. since i started smoking, i have done nothing good, just bad.
7. its a stupid decision, like my dad said, only stupid people smokes.
8. there is so much more in life.
9. it tastes like shit(not that i have tasted shit before).
10. if i cant take care of myself, no one can.
11. whats the point of taking supplements and then killing it by smoking? wasting money
12. smoke relief is only temporary.
13. if im going to kill myself slowly, might as well just shoot myself in the head.
14. everyone wants to quit, so im taking up the initiative to do so.
15. i dont want a smoking future.

seriously, smoking has effected me too much in life, and not in a good way. always brought me trouble, lowers down my productivity and basically never brought anything good to me.

so, from today onwards, Monday, September 7 2009, 2:52am, i shall not pickup smoking nor shall i be influenced by anyone to smoke anymore. shame on me for smoking... this is a promise to myself, and anyone who is reading this, please quit, and list down what has smoking done for you before...

waiting...

i feel like crying... i really do... i have been waiting a whole day for her... for her responses, her replies...

T_T

i was at my friend's place today, wanting help to compose a song for her birthday... i didnt want her to know, its a surprise... so i sms-ed to tel her that i am studying and i wont want to be bothered...well... im never good at lying and keeping surprises... she called an hour later, i ran to the toilet and hid... told her im in the toilet, and i need to finish of another chapter and then call her back...

but then after a while... she called me back, and she caught me that i wasnt at home, and that i was lying to her...

i couldnt help it... i really wanted it to be her B'day song... its so hard to compose and write, she smsed me that she wanted to break up with me cause she couldnt trust me...

i went home and saw that my status on Facebook is no longer in a relationship with her.... it really hurts me then... it really did... but i kept it in... told her that i was composing and writing a song for her... she still doesnt believe i think... called her multiple times today but to no avail... smsed her but no replies... i saw her online, i msg-ed her but she doesnt asnwer me... i really cant hold it in right now..im writing this as tears are rolling down my cheeks as i feel ignored, lost and i dont know what to do...


how bad is it that a person feels that he/she is ignored just because he/she wanted to do something for his/her loved one? where is the fairness in that? i waited the whole day... and i have no outlet... i cant think straight, kept me from thinking too much... but now i finally cracked...

kepedihan hatiku...