Friday, August 21, 2009

Deciding for a Change

im going to change myself, to reach for my dreams. am gonna change myself so my baby does not need to worry about me... i feel the winds of change blowing my way... it is now the right time and right place.

im not going to be as forgetful as i was before... i will take action into mind, words into consideration... no longer will i live my life like i was before...

my current thinking brought me where i am now, i am not happy with where i am... i want something better, something more... i need a change...

A Man With A Dream Will Not Be Denied...

A Change in My Life

Standing cold and scared on top of blue hill,
There came one moment, when I lost my will.
I prayed for mercy, please lord take me away.
Oh give me sunshine where I only see grey.
My past had a hold on me, it can't be denied,
And the changes don't come easily.

I've been lonely, I've been cheated,
I've been misunderstood
I've been washed up, I've been put down,
And told I'm no good
But with you I belong,
Cause you help me be strong,
There's a change in my life,
Since you came along.

Now I don't mind working so hard every day.
And I don't pay no mind to what people say.
'Cause after all the pain I've been through
Lord knows I'd give up everything
Just to love only you
All my life I'd held my head bent in shame,
But now I've found you, and with you
I'll remain, Lord knows.

Repeat chorus

A man gets crazy when his life is all wrong,
And a heart gets weary when it doesn't belong.
When the road gets rocky Lord
You've got to keep on.
Let the new light come shining on through.

Repeat chorus

Thursday, August 13, 2009


why am i so forgetful? why cant i remember somethings when i try so hard to remember them... this is what brought me into trouble with my baby today. i sometimes forget where her classes are and it hurts her... i understand that, because it shows as if i dont care. i do care about her, i dont want to make her sad. but i make her sad time and time again, while i thought that i am doing something that is making her happy, making her proud, something else pops up and i make her sad. i dont want that to happen. i really dont.

everytime she is sad, it makes me feel useless as a boyfriend not doing what im supposed to do, which is to make her happy. as of right now, i am aiming for her birthday, every single cent and penny saved will prioritized for my baby's birthday, i am even doing her handmade gift right now... and below, i will vow to do these and to keep my forgetfulness away, even that there is still a chance, i want to minimize it.

1. jot down every single thing of my baby's lifestyle.
2. constantly update the booklet and constantly looktrough it so i do not forget.

this will try to reduce the chance of me dissapointing my baby. i love her too much to hurt her anymore...

p.s: smack me if i do forget. i love you stephanie

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Best Thing That Happened to me

There has never been any greater girl that has come into my life... you are everything that means special to me..

why do i say that? because you are the anchor of my heart... you keep me down when things are afloat but you keep me up when i am sad. you are all i have ever hoped for, and there is no one like you. i really want you to know that i love you more than anyone else in this world...

Hennessy Artistry in QE3 in Penang, yes, she did down the bottle lulz...

sometimes to get to your heart is difficult, but i always tell myself that i wont give up on you, because you mean that much to me. i have never felt this way to anyone before, and this the truth, i pray everynight for you to be safe from all worries and sorrows.

despite we came from different backgrounds, different point of views, but there is so much we could do together, and i believe our love transcends boundaries.

this is how good she looked in dresses, she blows my mind every-time.

i believe that there is a reason that we were brought together, and it is no accident, as i write this i am thinking of all the memories that we have had together and all the memories that we are going to have in the future.. thats what i see...

shaking her bootay during HA in KL... all i could do was sit aside and admire her..

nothing will keep me from doing what i want to do for you, there is just so much in this relationship that i have longed for and i know for a fact that if this is taken away from me, i will not be able to find it again. you are in a way, so many things i have wanted...

look at her skin... no blemishes, makes me feel like touching her cheeks..

i can never get bored of just gazing at you, admiring what i have infront of my eyes, i will never get tired of holding your hands, to feel what i know is real, and i can never saw sweet things to you, because thats how sweet you mean to me and you know that you deserve it. everytime you ask me "you not bored 1 meh always hug hug kiss kiss", i always wanted to say, "no" cuz how could i get bored of you? i could never get bored of you... even when you are not around i basically think of you..

she can camwhore all she wants because i get more pictures of her to look at, she always looks nice... :)

every single thing you do for me i do cherish it for it means so much to me. i never thought i would ever find someone that i could love as much as you, because i know that you are lovable.

see see, she making my face blush (actually its d alcohol) but she does make me blush, and she has the power to make me blush whenever she wants...

sometimes i feel silly making some small mistakes, and you dont like making mistakes... my head is a bit thick and you might say sometimes a bit airheaded(Himbo???) but i always knock some sense into myself and before i met you, i would just do something without thinking it through so much...

awwww..... So cute... (melted)

i believe that every single moment spent with you is a god gifted moment, everytime i would not want you to part from me is not because i just dont want you to go home and rest, its just that i want to spend a bit more time with you, even just doing nothing but spending time with you is already "something" to me..

Yo te amor... por siempre estaras en mi corazon...

as i am typing this out i just cant stop looking at the pictures on the picture frames you filled up for me, its so nice that it looks like small windows of moments that we had... and when i spin it slowly, it makes me wonder if there was any magic spell that binded us together...

hug me... not the baaaggg.... meee meee....

i pamper you so much not because i have to, its because i want to, because i know you deserve it and so much more. if i were able to give you more, i would... without thinking twice i would give you so much that you would want me to stop... ^^

look like bubblegum hor hor hor...

as time goes by i know that one day that i will be able to achieve my goal of giving everything to you... and you are the only person that i want to give to.

just like a seniorita asking for a dance... just have to love her...

i want you to know one thing, i want to go through everything with you, be it sadness... or happiness or bliss, EVERYTHING... because you mean a lot to me...

...:::~~~///I Love You Stephanie\\\~~~:::...

heres a song dedicated to my love...

The Calling : Stigmatized
If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you

Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized

I can feel the blood rushing though my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray


We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized

We'll live our lives, We'll take the punches everyday
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way

I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I Believe in you, and I don't really give a damn
We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides

We're gonna live our lives
Gotta live our lives
We're gonna live our lives
We're gonna live our lives, Gonna live our lives, Stigmatized